Today was the hardest day so far. Mentally, to get past yourself is very taxing. We are exposed to so much information and we have very little understanding of how to put it into action. Today I felt sorry for myself and more...inadequate than ever. I feel that my relationship with my comp. is not as good as my relationship with the other elders in the district, which causes our teaching, or at least how I perceive our teaching, to falter a bit. We had our first gym period today which was exciting! And it’s weird to see myself in clothes other than a shirt and tie.
Today we also taught lessons with some elders in our zone, who have been here for a week. We walked in and began to listen to who the “investigator” was. (The investigator is an elder, role playing). We then said a prayer and to my surprise he said “Okay, are you ready?” and I thought we’d have time to prepare what we were going to say! And it turn out we were supposed to :) But the man was a marine who had been in the marines for 6 years. His platoon was ambushed and he was the only one that survived. This elder made it impossible for us to teach him. So I guess tomorrow can only get better.
Back to how I feel about my inadequacies... I feel now that it’s not about me... but what the investigator needs.
In our classroom tonight... we all got to feel the spirit so strongly... we envisioned our first door we knock on. That they let us in and we baptize them and they receive the priesthood and can bless their own families. This allowed me to look outside myself and focus on others.
I haven’t been here a week but everyone says that the “weeks feel like days and the days feel like weeks” – and it is definitely true! Love you all!