Today was amazing! The last four days have been really difficult. I’ve felt the most depressed I have ever felt. I’ve been praying and praying, the hardest I have ever, to be able to teach and have the spirit with me and just think of the investigator’s needs.
But! Today, Brother Beheshti came and asked if he could meet with me one on one, as he’s done with each missionary in the district. We started with a prayer and he prayed that I would be able to open up and share my true feelings. He then started off by saying that, of what he sees so far, he sees that I have a great desire to do well and I am a good worker and will be obedient. He said that he does not say these things to every missionary. He then said that of what he can see in me... I have great faith, but general faith. Faith that sooner or later things will get better. He showed me Ether 12:6 and had me read everything that pertains to faith. He then explained that Lamen and Lemuel did everything that Nephi did, until they got to the promised land. And that they lacked faith, but not comparing me to Lamen and Lemuel :). He then said that he perceives that I need to develop faith in the “now”. I have everything required of me but I had faith in the here and now, and that God will fill my mouth. He then said, “Don’t quit, and have real faith.” This is the answer to all my prayers. I felt the spirit more then than I ever have in the MTC. I am so grateful to Brother Beheshti and his relationship with the spirit.
Well tomorrow is green tie day! Everyday we coordinate ties and the sisters’ dresses, and since it’s Wednesday, it’s green tie greenie day! I can’t wait to be a week old and not be the newest one here. When I was new, everyone would say “Elder! Welcome to the MTC!” And I mean everyone. So I can’t wait to do that! Also, Elder Husaker is going to ask one of the greenies if he can practice bearing his testimony in his mission language. Then he’s just going to make up a language and freak them out by saying he’s only been here for like 3 weeks. Well I better go! Thank you so much to everyone who wrote me letter! I promise I’ll write you all back soon! Love you all!